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一次特別的地球班班會:美國拖欠班費,俄羅斯建議聯合國搬去中國 – 有海水的地方就有中國人

一次特別的地球班班會:美國拖欠班費,俄羅斯建議聯合國搬去中國

一次特別的地球班班會:美國拖欠班費,俄羅斯建議聯合國搬去中國
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地球班是一個高度自治的班集體,作為輔導員的聯合國雖然在班級裡發揮著重要的作用,但本身不產生財富,因此只能靠同學們分攤班費來維持聯合國的運轉。但是近年來,以班長美國為首的某些同學長期拖欠聯合國會費,也就是地球班的班費,導致聯合國經常性的陷入困難,有時甚至發不出工作人員的工資。這種行為給地球班的正常運轉,造成很大的困擾。為了解決班費的問題,經由體育委員俄羅斯提議,地球班召開了一次特殊班會,專門討論如何督促美國為首的「老賴」們補齊聯合國會費的問題。一次特別的地球班班會:美國拖欠班費,俄羅斯建議聯合國搬去中國聯合國大會會議一開始,作為這次班會召集人的俄羅斯首先發言。體育委員俄羅斯,在地球班本來就以脾氣暴出名,最近因為被班長美國帶著一幫人制裁,家裡日子過的艱難,脾氣就更不好了,其它班委做開場白的時候,往往還要鋪墊一下,但俄羅斯一上來就針對美國。俄羅斯:同學們,我也不說什么勸美國補齊聯合國會費的事情了,反正他不要臉,咱們再怎么說也沒用。要我看,今天咱們乾脆就投票,把美國從聯合國五大班委之中趕出去,換一個願意交聯合國會費的同學來當班委,下面大家就開始投票吧,當然有願意出班費,當班委的同學,也可以自薦。俄羅斯話音落下,美國都愣了,全班同學竊竊私語。印度迅速站起來。印度:我願意出班費!德國:我也可以。沙特:卡號!眼看著同學們七嘴八舌的想要當班委,班長美國終於反應過來,使勁地敲敲桌子。同學們都看向美國,美國惡狠狠地盯著印度,德國,沙特三個搶著當班委的同學。這三人在美國的逼視下,只能諂諂地坐下。美國又看向剛站起來準備搶班委的日本,日本額頭上冒出冷汗,電光火石之間突然靈光一閃,將起身的動作變成向美國鞠躬。日本:尊敬的班長閣下,該您出來發言了。美國懷疑地看著他,日本一臉真誠。美國:小本子,你別這么客氣,弄的我還以為你也要造反呢!還有你們,一個個的都想上天嗎?美國站起身抖威風,同學們敢怒不敢言,只好都看向中國和俄羅斯。中國神色淡然,俄羅斯一邊冷笑,一邊手裡轉著一個竄天猴(導彈),這是他生氣時的習慣性動作。俄羅斯:阿美,我看想上天的是你吧,當老賴還當的這么理直氣壯,我看地球是容不下你了!美國氣的不行,但看著俄羅斯手裡的危險動作,生怕自己一個刺激,俄羅斯直接動手,只能把戰火轉移到中國身上。一次特別的地球班班會:美國拖欠班費,俄羅斯建議聯合國搬去中國美國拖欠聯合國會費佔聯合國未繳清會費的大頭美國:阿中,這都是你在背後搞的鬼吧?有本事自己出來跟我單挑,讓其他人出頭算什么好漢?中國一臉苦笑。中國:阿美,我們家有句俗話叫360行,行行出狀元。在胡攪蠻纏轉移視線這一點上,你也算是清新脫俗了。我今天到現在一個字都沒說,你不講理也得找個由頭吧?美國:雖然你沒說,但不代表你沒想。我看說來說去,就是你想搶我的班長位置,我告訴你,沒門!中國:阿美我跟你說過多少次了,我對當班長沒興趣,只想賺小錢錢,現在當這個學習委員,還兼著勞動委員,我已經很累了好不!印度見縫插針:阿中,你累可以把勞動委員讓給我啊!中國:阿印,不是我不讓,勞動委員是要給全班當世界工廠的,你家人動不動就砸人家廠子,就算我肯讓給你,你問問其它同學願意嗎?印度:這可是你說的啊,阿美,阿英,你們快同意啊,把廠子都遷到我家來,我家工資便宜。美國翻個白眼。英國:咳咳,印度同學你別打岔,今天說的是班長拖欠班費的事情。阿美啊,這回我也得說你兩句,你好歹也是咱們地球班的班長,就算為了班級風氣,也不能拖欠聯合國會費啊。現在你一拖欠,日本他們也開始拖欠了,這不是帶頭違反班規嗎?美國:我……不是我不交班費,是我家沒錢。朝鮮:哈哈哈!班長你逗死我了,我家這么窮我的班費都交清了,你一個開印鈔廠的,跟我們說沒錢。美國氣急敗壞道:你以為都像你,想怎么幹就怎么幹嗎?我家開印鈔廠不假,但我說了又不算,有啥用?俄羅斯冷笑道:會費能有多少錢,你這些年拖欠的所有班費加在一起,不過就是幾十億而已,你家一年軍費7000億,哪裡擠不出來這點錢?我看你就是故意拖欠!一次特別的地球班班會:美國拖欠班費,俄羅斯建議聯合國搬去中國美國鉅額軍費美國:說話是要講證據的,我沒有,我不是,你別瞎說。中國悠悠道:阿美,你要是說這個我可就精神了。你不是要證據嗎,我就給你證據。當年第一次海灣戰爭之前,你是不是也天天喊著自己沒錢不交聯合國會費?美國:那又怎么樣,我家一直窮不行啊?中國:可是為什么當時聯合國同意你打伊拉克,你立馬就把聯合國會費補齊了?美國一愣,忙看向旁邊的英國。美國:阿英,有這回事嗎?英國無奈的點點頭。美國又看向中國,繼續嘴硬。美國:那……那只是個巧合,當年可能正好賺了一筆吧。中國:那9·11事件以後,你要反恐打塔利班,獲得了聯合國的支援,於是你又把前幾年欠的聯合國會費給繳清了。你現在說自己沒錢,我倒是想問你,怎么一到你想打人,而聯合國支援你的時候,你就突然有錢了呢!全班同學聽完中國的話,都用異樣的眼光看著美國,美國一看這情況,乾脆也不裝了。美國:是,我家是有錢,但我家的錢那也不是大風颳來的,這些年為了賺錢,我到處打人,連坑帶騙,好不容易賺點錢,憑什么都投入到聯合國裡?中國:阿美你這么說就沒意思了,地球班是我們大家的地球班,聯合國也是我們大家的輔導員,那么多聯合國工作人員為了地球班的和平與發展兢兢業業的工作,你不能否認他們的貢獻啊。

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